07 Mar Mikhail Belyaev: there is a more effective way to relieve tension than drinking
Problems, whether caused by excessive stress, anxiety, loneliness or something else, begin to resolve when we focus more on relationships rather than on achieving success. When relationships take a back seat, arguments or conflicts arise, and families fall apart.
Alcohol and mental health problems are often very deeply intertwined. People always try to bottle up their worries and use alcohol to relieve tension. However, this only brings more worries. Many people suffer from alcohol: the drinker himself, his family, friends, colleagues and the entire society. Problems arise in the family, relationships, work or personal development. The risk of accidents increases.
All this does not mean that alcohol should not be consumed at all. Banning alcohol is not a solution to real problems. Why do people drink? Why do they have so much stress in their lives? Where does this stress come from or what causes it?
People often drink primarily because they have a lot of stress. In today’s society, we are often very focused on success. Everyone wants to achieve a lot. There are a lot of expectations: for example, parents have for their children, employers have for their subordinates, but also the expectations and goals that the person sets for themselves. Everyone wants to be successful: to make quick steps on the career ladder, build a fancy house, drive an expensive car, go on vacation abroad often. Who wouldn’t want that? However, big goals can cause a lot of anxiety. Sometimes it is extremely difficult to cope with such pressure.
If you have big goals, it is important to have the will to achieve them. However, alcohol reduces the will to act and motivation. Alcohol also makes it harder to concentrate or start something new. This can create a vicious circle: goals are not achieved due to low motivation, which in turn increases stress and drives you to drink again.
If a person is very active, works at several jobs, goes to the gym, and is involved in many hobbies, then they do not have much time for socializing. Problems, whether they are caused by excessive stress, anxiety, loneliness, or something else, begin to resolve when you focus more on relationships rather than on achieving success. When relationships take a back seat, arguments or conflicts arise, families fall apart – all of this in turn creates more tension. However, if you take more time for joint activities with your family, communicate with colleagues on a more personal level, and find time for friends, these relationships in turn give you the strength and energy to cope with everything else.
Another common reason why a person seeks solace in alcohol has been a feeling of loneliness over time. An attempt to drive away this feeling by drinking, to overcome loneliness, to fill some kind of void within oneself. When drinking alcohol, it seems that the mood rises, it is easier to communicate, and worries seem to disappear. The person becomes more sociable and forgets about loneliness. However, the next day, the relapse into worrying thoughts is even greater, because the hangover after drinking makes communication even more difficult.
In fact, the best way to cope with loneliness or anxiety is to communicate more. Despite all your fears. Even when it seems that no one understands you or that you can’t connect with anyone on a deeper level anyway. You just need to communicate more, try to find contact with people, listen and open up.
There are people who, in order to cope with loneliness, immerse themselves in work. This eventually develops into work addiction. However, overloading themselves with work can in turn lead to excessive alcohol consumption – after all, they need to somehow relieve work-related stress. Not everyone goes to the gym or the sauna after a long day at work. Relaxing a little from time to time, even with the help of alcohol, is not a problem. The main thing is that the quantities are not large and that it does not become a regular pattern. Drinking should not become the first thought that comes to mind when faced with a difficult situation. Problems need to be addressed. There are so many other ways to relax and relieve stress.
In a fast-paced life, when tensions build up, it is often difficult to understand yourself and your emotions. It is good if a person has family or loved ones who support them during difficult times and can signal any concerns they may have.
Sometimes a few words are enough to understand – now it is necessary to take time off, rest, and take care of yourself. If you discover in time that stress has begun to grow and worries are piling up, it is entirely possible to cope with this situation on your own. For example, the emotional well-being test found on the alkoinfo.ee website can help you better understand your emotional state.
Of course, no test will ever solve any problems. However, it can help you become aware of worries at the right moment. When symptoms of depression, anxiety, and insomnia are identified, you can pay attention to them. This is a good opportunity to analyze yourself and your mental state. However, it must be remembered that the result of the test depends on many factors, including how honest you are with yourself.
If negative feelings have begun to interfere with everyday life, solutions must be found. A person who is stressed, overexerted, depressed, or has difficulty falling asleep should avoid alcohol. It is important to seek support from loved ones or consult a specialist.
Of course, the situation is more complicated when it comes to a completely lonely person. Statistics show that lonely people are more likely to develop depression and often also use alcohol. In this case, you should definitely discuss your concerns with a specialist. In fact, it may be easier to turn to a specialist than to talk about your feelings with a loved one. A psychologist or psychiatrist is a completely neutral outsider. They do not criticize or judge. They also have an obligation to maintain confidentiality. This works well for many people.
If alcohol has become too frequent a stress reliever, you need to start breaking this pattern and replacing drinking with more positive habits. One easy way to relieve tension is to simply sleep. It’s so easy and doesn’t require any expenses! Another seemingly simple, but very important recommendation is to take time for the people who are important to you. Spend time together without rushing anywhere, chat, enjoy each other’s company.
Estonian people are also very close to nature – spending time in nature, walking, and fresh air are very helpful in relaxing. Various mindfulness techniques are currently very popular, which you can also try. You can go for a massage. Do sports or do other hobbies you like. Some write a book, some draw. There is no one universal solution.
For those who are more pragmatic by nature, it is worth thinking and calculating what you could do with the time and money you spend on drinking. A small drink in the evening can unnoticed over time cost you so much money that you could already afford a proper vacation. The same goes for time and energy. The morning after drinking, we do not have as much energy as usual. By not drinking in the evening, our working capacity is greater and our motivation is stronger in the morning – this way we get more done in less time and we feel better.
But it is always worth keeping in mind that balance is important. You should also not overload yourself with pleasant and positive activities. Nice things, if there are too many of them on the calendar at once, can cause stress and burnout in the same way.
More information on the alkoinfo.ee website.
This is an article that was published in Tartu Postimees.